“I found I was more confident when I stopped trying to be someone else’s definition of beautiful and started being my own.” -Remington Miller
Did you know that self-confidence inspires trust? A confident person is more likely to gain the trust of a potential client – and contract – than someone who is projecting his/her insecurity.
So what does it mean to have self-confidence anyway? Well, confidence is knowing what you’re good at, the value you provide, and acting in a way that conveys that to others. It’s so important because you may have all of the ability in the world to perform well, but if you don’t believe you have that ability, then you won’t perform up to that ability. On the other side of the spectrum having a lack of confidence leads to inaction. It leads to holding back, shyness, and often missed opportunities. You have to believe in yourself because it allows you to rise up and reach your potential. You have to know what you’re aiming for. Confidence also plays a major role in goal setting. By setting goals, you know what you want in life and you know what it takes to reach those goals. The actions we choose to take in life leads to more confidence and the more confident we are the more action we take. Becoming really confident may seem impossible to you, but its really not. Start with the mind frame that actions speak louder than words and take in the 12 things truly self-confident people do differently that leads to success and live your life.
***Keep in mind that throughout this post the confidence I am referring to is self-confidence and not confidence in terms of “blind arrogance”. There is a difference. Those that are overly confident fall into another category..***
“When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.” -Joe Namath
Here are 12 things truly self-confident people do differently that leads to success:
1. Their Happiness Comes From Within – Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are. If you aren’t happy then you may need to do some soul searching to get there.. Those who are confident derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments, opposed to what other people think of their accomplishments. Most importantly, they know that no matter what anyone says, you’re never as good or bad as people say you are.
2. They Don’t Play the Comparison Game – Why do people constantly compare themselves to what they see in magazines or on TV? Ever realize that you are unique in your own ways? Those that we compare ourselves to are probably people who have spent thousands of dollars on cosmetic fixes to make them look the way they are now because they couldn’t be satisfied with the way they were born.. Well, confident people don’t look at things in life as a competition. They don’t compare themselves to other people because they know that there’s no point in it. The only person they compare themselves to is the person that they were yesterday. Those who compare have low self-esteem and lack confidence. Be confident in who you are and the way you look because I promise you someone out there admires the individual you are.
3. Their Drive to Start Things – Confident people start projects rather than sitting there pondering the idea and being hesitant. There’s a difference between thinking and doing. Yeah sure, we can all dream but you can always make your dreams come true, you just have to start and quit thinking the impossible. Confident people will always start right away no matter how long or how hard it may be, they will make mistakes and learn along the way but they will succeed.
4. They Don’t Say Yes Unless They Really Want To – Confident individuals don’t just say “Yes”. They say “Yes” to opportunity and “No” where appropriate. Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that saying no is healthy and they have the self-esteem, to make their no’s clear. When it’s time to say no you can’t use phrases like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain,” you have to say no with confidence!
5. Their Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence leads to fear and fear leads to failure. Confidence people don’t approach things in life with fear because you never gain anything by fearing what others think or fearing the unknown. You have to have confidence to face and overcome fears to be successful in life.
6. They Recognize “Mistakes” are Learning Opportunities – You are not always going to be right in everything you do or say. No one is perfect. Confident people aren’t afraid to be proven wrong. They put their opinions out there to see if they hold up because they can learn from their mistakes and others can learn from them. Don’t treat being wrong as a personal slight.
7. They Take Risk – Do you think you miss opportunities when you don’t take risk? Absolutely! When confident people see an opportunity, they take it. They don’t let fear hold them back and worry about what could go wrong, they just go for it. They never know what could happen if they never try and they know if you never try, you will never succeed.
8. They Speak With Certainty – It’s difficult to get people to listen to you if you can’t deliver your ideas with conviction, wouldn’t you agree? That’s why confident people speak assertively because they know. Be firm in what you believe when speaking!
9. They Aren’t Afraid to Ask For Help – Being confident doesn’t mean you know everything and never have to ask for help. It means the opposite. Confident people who ask for help know that learning from someone with more expertise in an area can help them improve. They also know that by asking for help won’t make them seem weak or unintelligent.
10. They Celebrate Others – Confident people are never jealous or diminishing of other peoples success. They aren’t insecurely focusing inward. Instead, they focus outward, allowing them to recognize all the wonderful accomplishments others have to bring to the table.
11. They Don’t Seek Attention – Have you ever noticed those who act certain ways because they strive for attention? Well, people are turned off by those who are desperate for attention and the goal of confident people is to not seek attention. Being yourself in everything you do is so much more effective than trying to prove something you’re not. Attitude is everything and portraying the right attitude is more beneficial in everything you do. Confident people will always deliver the right attitude at all times no matter what.
12. They Set the Bar High – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. They are constantly setting goals, short-term and long-term because they know each goal reached leads to victories, small or large. If you don’t set the bar high then you are not challenging yourself and portray a lack of confidence. Setting the bar high does not mean you’ll never reach it, it takes dedication and persistence. Always remember, nothing is impossible, if you want it you’ll find a way!
Having confidence is the biggest thing you can have as an individual to be successful. If you lack confidence you can’t expect to set the bar high and achieve your goals. You have to understand that you are who you make yourself out to be. You can’t compare yourself or become someone you’re not and be successful because you’re not being true to yourself. Everyone is capable of being confident in the world, it’s just a matter of whether or not you choose you be a confident individual. But I can promise one thing, confidence leads to success, you have to believe in yourself, believe in your skills, and most importantly, believe in your ability to succeed. If you don’t believe in yourself then you are going to struggle because everything you do involves you to believe in yourself. So, stop being hesitant and fearful and start acting on what you want out of life. Always remember theres a difference between saying and doing. Actions speaks louder than words.